When I come off as antagonistic, obnoxious, that sort of thing, it means something is up (it doesn't mean that I doubt your skills or anything like that, that I am sitting there with a 'What can you do for me; how can you help me' attitude). So ask, for heaven sake, ask! That stupid little depression and anxiety questionnaire isn't going to tell you shit. It's not going to tell you how badly I wish I was dead. It's not going to tell you about the events of Sunday night which have made everything so much more worse. It won't tell you how thinking about it (something I cannot help but do no matter how hard I try to forget it) makes me want to overdose or hurt myself in some other way. It won't tell you that I intentionally cut on my wrist yesterday so that I could hit a vein. It won't tell you that when I hit said vein I reacted with an 'Oh thank God' rather than the little thrill of fear that usually accompanies such an action.
I think I'm gonna take my stitches out later and see about that vein again... God would have done me a real favor if He had just allowed me to die in my sleep last night...
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