It's Not That Big A Deal!!

Oh my good lord, I wish people would just calm down. It's a 7 cm cut (not my longest) that didn't even go through the fat (I know, *ew*) on my arm (not my deepest). It only took 8 stitches to close. And I had no idea I was cutting over something important; it wasn't a suicide attempt. So why in the world is everyone making a big deal out of nothing? It's not like it's the first time I've cut. It's not even the first time I've gotten stitches for a self inflicted injury. And yet I'm being lectured and told things like 'At some point we start making decisions for you' (thank you, mental health *glares *). I had to see a MHP while I was in the ER, I was required to see one the next morning (if I didn't show up I was told they'd show up on my doorstep with the cops), I was asked to check in that afternoon and again this morning! What the hell is wrong with you people? I'M A CUTTER!! OK? I do this! And you know it!

I also got to go to the doctor and get the wound looked at early because the nurse decided that, since the ER folks told me to get it checked in 2 days, Monday was too long to wait. So I sat there for 45 minutes after my appointment started and then talked to a doctor I had never seen before (he was actually very nice, I liked this one) during which conversation I learned that a therapist I had seen at Mental Health was now working at my doctors office AND that he had brought the doctor up to speed! I have NO idea what all he told him and while I really like this particular therapist I am less than happy. I have the idea that he told the doctor rather more than he would have learned from the ER notes or even from my file at the doctors office and that doesn't feel fair. I should be the one who decides who gets all that information, not him.

Finally!!

I stepped on the scale this morning (as I do every morning, evening, and sometimes in between) and it read just under 163. Now it's not my goal weight but it is within the 'normal' range for a woman of my height (just barely but still)! I don't know when I've been this thin. Too bad it's not enough. Too bad I am going about it all wrong. But still, it's happening. I wish very much that it would happen faster though. I'm afraid I've gotten myself into a bit of a mess but... I'm no longer over weight!!