Once Again into the Pit

Was it this gradual last time? I think it might have been. If I recall correctly I actually felt as if I had both plunged to the depths of the Pit and yet at the same time found myself there almost without even realizing what was happening to me along the way.

That's a little how it feels right now. I'm not entirely there yet but I know that is the direction I am heading. Not to somewhere on a cliff just below the edge, more at the top than anywhere else; this time I am starting down and the only place to end up is rock bottom.

I've only done this once before. Oh I flirt with the edge of the Pit. Most of the time it is where I reside. But only once have I reached the depths to which I know I am headed now. And though I prayed to God it would not happen again it seems those prayers, for one reason or another, have fallen on deaf ears.

So once again into the Pit I go. I've told more than one person that I am certain, should I ever find myself in the place I was my last year of school, that I will not make it out a second time... after all, I barely made it the first time. I really had hoped to never find myself here again, to learn whether or not my dark premonition would come true.

I guess we shall see.