Friday, January 6, 2012

How

How am I supposed to talk about different feelings when for the most part I only experience them as Good or Bad? How am I supposed to tell you about intensity when it rarely ever varies. They treat me with the Roosevelt attitude of 'Walk softly and carry a big stick'. They feel quiet, almost, but boy do they pack a wallop.

And how do I convey to you how hard all of this is for me? How I honestly want to tell you important things but so often find them stuck at my throat (anyone know the ASL sign for 'stuck'? It's very appropriate here, I suggest you click on the link)). How utterly humiliated all this makes me feel? How the ambivalence drives be absolutely crazy sometimes?

And how the hell do I live another 50-60 years with all this crap?

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